I don’t understand my heart.
What I mean basically is that I don’t understand how to have genuine emotion towards guys, I can’t stay with one. When I look around and see how my friends go through heartbreaks in their various relationships or when they are bothered when their particular someone doesn’t call or text for a few days I just look at them, not being able to understand how they could cope with all the heartbreak and still go back into another relationship and give all that they have only to end up the same way once more, so I took a different strategy in order not to get hurt, its best never to put all into your relationship, don’t feel too much and don’t give too much because if you do both, that would be the dumbest mistake on your part, for crying out loud we are all still very young but the fact is that at our very young teen age we do not know or understand the meaning of LOVE, we just do it in order to participate and emulate what the adults are doing, we just want to tell them that we are grown up like them meanwhile we are not, because they can do things with each other and have no regrets about it as they are old enough to live with their mistakes without the world having to look at them as outcasts but as teens there is a whole lot to lose when we go into things like this, things we are not ready for, things we don’t want to take responsibilities for, so why then do we go into it?
I really am not here to condemn us because I have also had my fair share in all of this, I have more than participated in all our various activities that we should be ashamed of but are not. My question to everyone though is this: Do you understand your heart? I don’t! And I want to learn how to, I can’t keep on hurting the different guys I date, at the end of the day I hurt them and feel nothing it’s not fair to them neither is it the best thing for one to do! I have come to realize this fact and though it wouldn’t be too easy to start over I think its best. As for you all reading this no matter how little or no matter how old, I have one more question for you all: Don’t you feel it’s best to understand and make sacrifices for your own happiness, I mean, most of u have forgotten how it was to be single, not give a care in this world, dance in the rain, smile and feel so free, it’s been a very long time for me. I was 11 when I last felt this way now am 17, 6 years of always having to worry about pleasing other people when the only person I should be pleasing is indeed myself. I now understand this but do you?